Redemption.

semalam aku keluar dengan liyana semalam with anisah basri. ngeee. we went to everywhere lah. but, apa yang aku nak tekan kan adalah time karaoke tu.

we sang so many songs. some of it really remind me of him. we sang that song. that one song. Saat Terakhir. i thought I'm over him. Everytime I heard that song, its seem like a flasback. and suddenly, i cried. I just can't continue singing it anymore.

somehow, i always think . that very moment he asked me to be girlfriend again, and i rejected. is it the right thing to do ? or am i regretting it now ? hurmm.

lepas tu time yana nyanyi lagu ape entah, i broke down into tears.

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it has been 4 days we didn't text since our last fight. i became so emotional when he doesn't have time to see me walhal dia yang excited nak sangat jumpa. I yell at him and i rather see him dead than seeing him .

and since that , we never contact each other anymore. since last night, i kept waiting him. waiting for him to text me back. huhu

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watching yana breaking down semalam, I know how much it hurt . aku tahu semua tu. sebab aku pon macam tu. Tapi aku cuba lupakan kesakitan tu dengan kerja and fikir pasal semua. tapi when there's a little moment, i knew i always thinking of him.

i thought by having boyfriends, it could help me forgetting him. but it just making me compare them to him. and always ..always.. he always win. to me, he's always the better guy.

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sekarang, i felt lonely. the reason why i still be his friend is because i can't live without him ! there. i finally said it. and apart of me still thinking that we might have chance in this pitiful relationship. :(

pathetic me. i text him. just now. but, i know he won't even try to reply it..

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ouhh god ! please . give me strength to face this .

p/s : that awkward moment bila co - workers aku nama Firdaus. and it felt like punching him on his face ! haa.. and dia minta couple. damnn. no more firdaus in my life. cukup lah sorang . kowt :P